Unrestricted
by PsychoticAppleSauce
Summary: With Carly gone to Italy, a miserable Sam resumes her old habits, no longer tied down by her good-influencing friend. When she gets herself into deep trouble, someone decides to step in and take Carly's place. SEDDIE. T for drinking, language, drugs, ect.
1. Chapter 1

Carly hadn't called. She hadn't texted. She hadn't anything. Italy must be great; she hasn't told me otherwise. The first week after she left, we were in constant communication. She'd found great new friends and a fantastical romantic interest. Soccer player. Figured. She'd tell me that she missed all of us, and that she would visit every chance she came across. She would ask how I was doing in school and nod her head approvingly when I said my grades were passable. She would, of course, ask about Spencer and Freddie. And that was it.

After that, the conversations became mundane, like she only spoke to me because she had to. I struggled to keep the time alive, but soon ran out of things to say. I could've asked about her life in Italy, her new friends, the apparently handsome soccer player, but it would've hurt to hear the happiness rooted in her voice. She could probably talk for hours about her new life. And I knew she wouldn't visit. Let's face it, Seattle is no Italy.

After contact had been lost, I began to feel this awakening in myself that I hadn't felt in several years. The instinct to misbehave had renewed itself inside of me. Carly was always there to throw water on the flames and urge me to stay in line like a good girl. Now that her influence was on another continent, there was nothing stopping me. At first, I attempted to keep it suppressed, knowing Spencer would be upset if I got myself into big trouble, but soon it was slowly starting to grow.

I started out small, just nicking a few candy bars off of shelves and stuffing them in my pockets. The rush was addicting as I walked out the door, waiting for someone to shout "Hey! Come back here!" They rarely did. I was pretty fast so nobody ever caught me. I was moving on from gas stations to department stores. Candy bars to designer jeans. Designer jeans to a mini laptop. And I still hadn't been caught. News got around the delinquent side of Ridgeway about my amazing thieving abilities. So I made some new friends who taught me things I'd never heard of. How to pick a lock without being noticed or how to steal a refrigerator. Soon, Carly was pushed from my mind. I didn't need her around. I forgot all about Freddie and Spencer and Gibby too. They always held me back from finding my true calling.

* * *

I slapped a five dollar bill down on the greasy counter of the gas station convinience store. The owner eyed me suspiciously as he scanned the pack of cigarettes and checked my ID. I kept my poker face strong as the stolen goods in my pocket crinkled slightly when I shifted my arm. This store had all of my favorite food items and I didn't want the owner chasing me away for stealing so I usually paid for something to deter suspicion. He handed me my change and cigarettes, muttering a thanks while watching me walk through the automatic doors. I stuffed the money in the pocket of my jeans and pulled out my lucky Zippo lighter. I flipped the top and lit a cigarette, taking a long pull and blowing the hot smoke back into the chilly air.

"Hey Sam!" a buddy of mine named Damien called.

"Damien, what goes on?" I greeted smoothly, cigarette still between my lips.

"Dude, Porky found this awesome abandoned warehouse downtown! Party central tonight!" Damien was nearly gushing with excitement, "There's like, a million people coming!"

"Will there be booze?" I asked.

"Is the sky blue?" Damien snorted. I grinned at his smart-ass remark and punched his arm, taking another long pull of my cigarette.

"I'll be there."

That night, I parked my motorcycle and looked up at the dilapidated building. It was nearly overtaken by bushels of overgrown plants and long tangles of vines. I was trying to decide where the entrance was when Damien crawled out of a bush. I could tell he was already buzzed by the way he grinned at the sight of me.

"Sam!" He cried, spilling a bit of his drink on his sweatshirt, "Party's inside. Come on!" I followed him through a gaping hole in the side of building to fine it crammed with people. Someone had set up a large stockpile of various brands of alcohol in the corner, kept cold by the winter wind that blew through the gaps in the walls. I ditched Damien to shove my way into a group of kids huddled around a Hookah.

"What's in it?" I asked, taking an end.

"Tropical Kush," one of them said with a buttery voice. I put it to my lips and inhaled deeply, holding the smoke in my lungs for several seconds. I blew it out forcefully and quickly dove in for another hit. My head began to float as a good feeling spread all the way to my fingertips. I ditched the group and began to search for a drink. I elbowed through the thick crowd until I was able to grab a bottle of something. As I was unscrewing the cap, I looked up and saw the back of a familiar brunette. I almost dropped the bottle as I pushed and shoved desperately until my hand gripped her shoulder roughly.

"Carly-!" I stopped when the girl turned around. It wasn't her. The girl glared at me and pushed me away, snarling an insult. I growled, throwing the bottle to the ground. I pushed her back forcefully.

"Nobody pushes me," I said icily.

"Oh yeah?" The girl challenged, grabbing my shoulders and pushing me back. I charged, digging my knuckles deeply into the girl's face. She crumpled to the ground and crawled away, waving her arm in surrender. I wandered back to the booze and gulped down several mouthfuls of god knows what. It was so stupid to think that girl was Carly. She was having the time of her life in Italy with hot soccer players. Why the fuck would she be back in Seattle, much less at such a scummy gathering? I sloshed some of my drink down my shirt by accident as I stumbled through the party.

"HEY!" A voice bellowed as a hand grabbed the front of my shirt. A muscular guy wearing a backwards hat had my shirt clutched in his fist. I looked at him through my drunken haze. He looked beyond pissed.

"What do you want Tinkerbell?" I sighed, glancing longingly at the joints being passed around.

"You punched my girl!" He snarled, "I don't care if you're a girl, I'm gonna beat the shit out of you!"

"What a gentleman," I chuckled, "You're contradicting yourself."

"Fuck you!" He yelled, shoving my back into a wall. I just laughed more, grabbing his wrist and bending it back until I had him begging for mercy. I waited until I heard the satisfying crunch of his bones cracking, then I finally released him. I gave him a swift kick in the ribs as anger flooded into me without warning.

Anger at Carly.

Anger at being abandoned. _Again. _

Anger at myself.

I kicked him again and grabbed the front of his tanktop, yanking him off the ground. I began to punch whatever I could reach over and over, transferring my anger into his face and body. I would've gone longer but someone pulled me off of him and forced me through the warehouse exit. I landed in the bushes and laid there for several minutes. I beat the shit out of that guy but I didn't feel better at all. I felt sick as I clambered from the underbrush and began to walk through the streets, wondering why life was so keen to fuck me over.

* * *

**I'm back :) **


	2. Chapter 2

**So a ton of you have been sending messages and such asking how I've been and wondering if I could spare an update on my life. I'm flattered that you guys care so much but all in good time. For now, I have a story to write :)**

* * *

When I awoke my whole body gave a simultaneous cry of pain, especially my spinal cord which was bent at a strange angle. I tried to move around but my arms were snagged. I opened my eyes and cursed as I had apparently passed out in a cluster of shrubs. I ripped my arms free and rubbed my aching back. I was mildly surprised to see that I had made my way back to the party the night before. I vaguely remembered sneaking back in and getting shit-faced in my bout of anger. I straightened out my shirt and kicked aside a few empty bottles of booze as I climbed through the entrance of the warehouse.

I had to carefully navigate my way around several bodies that hadn't quite made it home. I spotted Damien curled up in a corner with a half-empty bottle of Captain Jorgen's. I thought about waking him up but changed my mind at the last moment, actually wanting to be alone. I wandered over to a group of people passed out around a busted bong and swiped some dude's wallet out of his pants. Grabbing a few 20's and a fair amount of weed from the rest of the group, I evacuated the warehouse and started down the street aimlessly.

I stopped at a deserted playground and took a seat on one of the swings, slowly drifting back and forth. I lit a cigarette and blew a cloud of smoke over my filthy jeans. I had no idea what time it was in Italy. I guessed it was probably nearing the afternoon or just before it. I dug my sneaker into the dirt and threw down my cigarette in disgust, burying it angrily. Watching the flame snuff out made me feel slightly better. But not much. Why did my mind always wander back to Carly? She probably never thought about me like I do about her.

"Sam!" I looked up from the dirt pile I'd made with my shoe to see a chubby, red-faced boy running up to me.

"Porky," I regarded with a nod. He stopped running, puffing heavily, and wiped his greasy blonde hair out of his eyes which shone with glee.

"I knew I'd find you here," He said.

"Real surprise isn't it?" I answered sarcastically.

"I saw what you did to that guy last night!" Porky gushed, "Went crawling away like a worm after you'd finished with him."

"Well I'm glad I entertained you," I said thickly, "Now can you tell me what you're here for and leave?"

"Hey what's your problem?" Porky said heatedly.

"I came to this park for solitude, not to be pestered by loud mouth idiots," I said breezily. Porky's eyes narrowed.

"Why? You thinkin' about that guy that dumped you?" Porky challenged. I stood up quickly and grabbed the front of Porky's XXL T-shirt.

"Don't you talk about him," I snarled. Porky smirked and pulled himself loose from my grasp.

"You too sensitive to talk about it?" He said, "Did that dorky little asshole break poor wittle Sammy's heart?" I gnashed my teeth in anger and felt like I could blow steam through my nose.

"I'm warning you Porky," I said hotly, "That fat mouth is going to get you in trouble,"

"Try me,"

I flattened my palms and struck Porky in the middle of the chest, pushing him back. He growled and pushed me in retaliation. We shoved back and forth until I got the first punch in. I got him on the cheekbone with my knuckles. He cried out in pain but became furious. He grabbed my shoulders and slammed me roughly into the wooden fence near the swing set.

"It's wrong to beat up a chick," He said, "But I don't think you count as one." I took the opening and gave him a swift blow to the stomach. He grunted and delivered a hit to my jaw. I staggered and felt a trickle of blood run down my chin. I was so sick of getting pushed around, like I meant nothing.

"I'll fuckin' kill you," I growled, wiping the blood off on my sleeve.

"Why?" Porky sneered, "Did I talk badly about your lover boy?" I sprang at him, knocking his head on the cement with a sickening smack. He groaned but didn't move.

"Don't. Ever. Talk. Badly. About. Him." I said, dancing over each syllable clearly. Porky nodded, holding the back of his head and whimpering in pain. I stormed home, crashing through the front door and kicking over the kitchen table. The house was dark and empty as I walked in circles, unable to contain my anger.

"FUCK!" I shouted to myself. I grabbed some booze off the top shelf and downed a third of the bottle before even glancing at the label. My brain turned to much and I could hardly function as my phone began to ring. I slid the unlock bar with difficulty and slurred a hello into the reciever.

"Sam?"

It was Carly.

"I'm Sam," I sloshed.

"Sam what's wrong? You sound funny." Came Carly's motherly voice.

"I'm fucking fantastic," I said loudly, "Now I'm tired," My eyes drooped as I swallowed another strong mouthful of liquor.

"Sam...are you drunk?"

"I don't drink," I said, slamming down the phone and knocking back another gulp. I dropped the bottle and hit my head on the table as I went tumbling after it. Everything went fuzzy as my head throbbed and my vision faded.


	3. Chapter 3

**A thousand pardons :/**

There was a funny feeling in my gut when I finally awoke. I realized that for the first time in months that I was letting the crushing sadness that had been locked up with booze trickle through the cracks. Tears came flooding to my eyes as I curled into a ball and sobbed into an empty beer bottle. It was the most pathetic thing I've ever witnessed. I cried and cried until my eyes were sore and my face was slick with salty tears. I sniffed and rolled over onto my back, letting a few straggling tears roll down into my hair. There was a dull pain in my thigh where I realized that my phone was jabbing into my leg. The conversation with Carly flooded back into my head. I whipped my phone out and pressed the middle button. One text. I swallowed and shakily unlocked my phone.

_ Carly- U ok?_

I slowly closed my eyes and put my phone down on the floor before I felt tempted to fling it violently into the wall. Was I okay? I don't know. Am I okay or am I okay okay? Neither? I stared up at the ceiling, trying to trace the cracks with my eyes but it seemed impossible. I wondered if I looked like that on the inside. Cracked and falling apart. I heard a car door slam and heavy footsteps pattering on the sidewalk. I hopped up and threw the empty bottle out the back door into some overgrown bush, bolting up to my room. I opened the window and climbed onto the roof, slamming down the window behind me.

I scaled down the steep roof, swinging a little as I dangled from the edge and landed on a pile of moth eaten blankets. I took off down the street until I reached the park where I had kicked Porky's ass. I sat down dejectedly on a swing and realized I had left my cigarettes on the kitchen table. I let out a frustrated shout and kicked a pile of dirt.

"Fuck you Carly!" I burst out savagely, "Fuck you and fuck the beauty of fucking Italy! Fuck those hot soccer players and their fucking charm! FUCK!" I ground my teeth together and sat there boiling even though I was aware of how cold it was. The injustice of it all made me even angrier as I made a crater in the dirt with my shoe. I remembered the weed in my pocket and looked over both shoulders. I opened the small bag and popped in a mouthful. It was tough and tasted like shit but I ground it down with my teeth and swallowed. I shrugged and dumped the entire bag into my mouth. I needed to get rid of it anyway.

I stuffed the bag back into my pocket and smacked my lips with a satisfied smile. I knew I'd probably get so high I wouldn't be able to move for several hours so I started walking towards the abandoned shack in the little cluster of woods nearby. I crossed the creek and slid my way down a steep hill of loose dirt and rocks. Ducking under a broken tree, I found the little shack; which was really a concrete platform with a makeshift roof consisting of dead branches and leaves. I sat down and crossed my legs, leaning against on the thick three trunks that helped hold up the roof.

"This fucking sucks," I said to no one. It felt good. "This really fucking sucks." A cold wind began to pick up as I brought my knees up under my chin to try and keep warm. My body began to tingle as the drugs began to work their way into my system. I suddenly began to regret eating the entire bag as the feeling intensified. I began to feel extremely paranoid and unsafe out here in the woods. I jumped up and looked around wildly, thinking that there were people watching me from all directions.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" I bellowed, crashing through the underbrush. I had no idea where I was but I knew that I had to get away from those prying eyes. They could see past my charade, they could see that I hurt so much inside. That I felt abandoned and sick with grief that my best friend had dumped me like a disposable piece of shit. I clutched my stomach and fell to my knees, trying to look anywhere that didn't contain a pair of all-knowing eyes. I was seriously tripping out as I buried my face in the dirt and covered my ears with my hands.

When I awoke, it was dark. My nose was invaded with the sharp smell of dirt and my brain felt fried to a crisp. I sat up and looked blearily around, trying to focus on anything big enough to let me. I was too aware of how inhumanly filthy my clothes were and how bad I reeked. I stood up and stumbled around until the park finally came into view. I took the long way home, purposely stopping to study uninteresting things on the sidewalk. I stood in front of my driveway, afraid to look away from the sidewalk. I felt my stomach plunge with disappointment when my mom's car was still parked in the driveway. I sighed and pushed open the front door.

"Sam is that you?" She called from the living room.

"Yeah it's me," I replied, clearing my throat to hide the rasp. I nearly gagged on the rancid taste that I had apparently missed before.

"Where you been?"

"Places,"

"You been up to no good?"

"Ask the police," I said. She didn't reply. I heard the TV change channels a few times as I got upstairs and finally got ready to take a shower. I didn't think much as the hot water washed the dirt and grime from my body. Which is odd because you'd think that the shower is the perfect place for thinking. I figured my brain was so shriveled that I lost my ability to think all together. How nice that would be. Once I figured that my hygiene was passable, I turned off the water and sat with my forehead against the tile wall for a long time. Not thinking, just standing. I finally toweled off and pulled on some clothes without looking at them. I collapsed onto my bed and pulled my blankets over my head. Time for the disposable piece of shit to say good night.


End file.
